10 simple rules for having happy, fulfilling relationships

  1. Create a vivid vision of your desired relationships blueprint. Believe in it.
  2. Know your deal breakers. Get super clear on what aspects of a relationship are non-negotiable to you and stick to it.
  3. We are better as a team. See your relationship as a team partnership. Always treat your life/business partner, friends, family, loved ones at least as nice as you would a stranger.
  4. Recognise that “in love” is not the same “true love”. Learn the difference and build on a healthy, sustainable relationship.
  5. Aware of your own patterns, triggers and limiting relationship beliefs so that you can make a conscious decision to change them.
  6. Give yourself the gift of forgiveness — release resentment towards others to free yourself from your prison. Forgive yourself and stop self-sabotaging.
  7. Be real: Try not to play a role simply because it’s what you’ve been taught. Think about what roles you may expect of others and why.
  8. Know that loving your partner/family/friends is a choice — love them the way they want to be loved.
  9. Embrace that these relationships are there to help you to learn, grow and heal.
  10. Bring your best self to your relationships by honouring yourself and taking time to work on YOU.

Assess your own Relationships Blueprint.

Are There More Dating Categories Than ‘Single’ or ‘In a Relationship’?

My response to this article from Metro: Are there more dating categories than ‘single’ or ‘in a relationship’?

 

Making Better Relationships

Whatever your relationship status it may be, whatever you choose, it is imperative important to have integrity within your SELF.

When you’re out of integrity with yourself, you will experience emotional discomfort, anger, feeling of helplessness and a sense of sadness. You feel like something feels off or just isn’t right. You start questioning the reality of the world that you are living in. This can lead to having trouble sleeping at night, or simply being able to fully concentrate or focus on what’s in front of you.

When you’re out of alignment with what you know deep in your heart is true and real for you, you’ll experience this as a feeling or a sense of being disconnected from the whole.

Integrity matters in your personal, business and love life. For any relationship to work, it needs to be governed by strong principles based on trust and honesty. No relationship should require you to pretend to be someone you’re not. If people don’t like who you really are, why would you want them to be a part of your life anyway?

Take for Jake, he created multiple online dating profiles, he enjoys texting and telling people that he meets that he is a different people – an ex-model, ex-banking now a tech investor, etc. In reality, he has a daughter and his wife is 5 months pregnant. Jake has multiple phones and finds it hard to keep track, or to remember whom he told what. Jake knows deep within his heart that help and support are needed, but he finds it hard to change his pattern/old habits. How many men do you know who act like

ocial chameleons; they are a different guy with you, a different guy at home, at work, when travelling, etc. Instead of being a single self, they live as multiple selves, transforming into what they think their family, parents, wives, fiancee…want them to be. Jake, in his 40’s now, ends up feeling exhausted, fragmented and confused as to who he really is. He is denying himSELF from living a fulfilled, inspired life.

Think about the commitments you’ve made to yourself and to others. In which areas of your life are you lacking integrity? The first step towards integrity is being honest with yourself. Be who you are. Say what you mean. Do what you say you will do.

Take personal responsibility for your life. Whatever the relationship status you want it to be, the single, most important relationship that you can ever have is to have integrity within yourSELF.

Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are

The #American author, Arthur Golden, once said, “#Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.” The devastating #hurricane and severe weather that erupted in the past week that have embodied the strong wind Arthur Golden spoke about, stripping away seemingly anything and everything in the destructive paths. Yet, there are things these storms could not tear away from the victims: community and inner strength, deep compassion for all living things, and an unwavering perseverance to survive, endure, and live on. #hurricaneirma

MakingBetterRelationships

MakingBetterRelationships

Happy National Matchmaker Day!

Happy Matchmakers Day to all the Love Connectors out there!

In honour of the National Matchmaker day, here’s a love story between a French man and a Chinese woman. Started from London, U.K to Beijing, China.

Two friends have met at my party in November 2011, they found a connection right away and went on their first date in the next day. They both know that in two days time she would be leaving London to return home to China to be with her family. The CONNECTION that they shared was so STRONG. And so, they started a long distance relationship. A few months into the relationship he has a new job opportunity to NYC, or a job promotion in London. But staying true to his soul, knowing what he wants and needed, he took a leap of faith, moved to China to be with her. 7 years later, they are raising a beautiful son, have a thriving restaurant business. He has gone on to become a celebrity chef on television.

I was inspired by their courage and subsequently started my journey to help people to get great relationships in their life.

Real love is a CHOICE.

Most people treat love as something happens to them, or something they “are in.” But love – good, healthy, mature love – is not being or feeling.

Real love is a decision. It’s deliberate. It’s choosing and committing. It’s doing. Trust. You make deliberate decisions on what to do, based on what you want.

And you choose who to love just as consciously.

Happy Matchmakers Day to all the Love Connectors out there!

#matchmakinginstitute #NationalMatchmakersDay #MatchmakersUnite

@matchmakinginstitute

Making better relationships

How to Avoid the Biggest Relationship Mistake

Making better relationships

 

We have all been there before, head over heels in love when we have met “the perfect one”. We spend every waking moment together and dream about what the future will bring. We are so sure this is the deepest love we have ever felt. And then the day comes when the relationship doesn’t work out. Our world comes crashing down on us. Those breakups can be the most painful. It leaves us asking ourselves, “why has it not worked out?”

When we are young, we often think being in love is enough to sustain a relationship. Truth is, it isn’t. Our needs and wants as a person evolve over the course of a relationship. Sometimes, love ain’t enough. We need to learn how to build on a healthy, sustainable relationship. So, let’s take a look at the key elements of creating the perfect love.

Understanding

Having understanding in your relationship is more important than having love. Couples get together because they believe in the idea of happiness. Couples stay together because they still believe they can achieve it. The reason partners complain to each other is because they are not getting their needs met. This is where the need for understanding plays a role. [1]

Communication

Communication is key in building a great relationship. Learn to better understand your deeper feelings and those of your partner. Practice on improving better communication. Listen, be open and honest with your partner, pay attention to non-verbal signals and stay focus in the here and now. [2]

Respect

In a healthy relationship, partners are equal, which means that neither partner has “authority” over the other. Each partner is free to live their own life, which can include deciding to share some aspects of their life with their partner. Respect also means that, while we may not always agree with our partner/s, we choose to trust them and put faith in their judgment. This trust can be built over time as your relationship progresses and you learn more about each other. [3]

Trust

Trusting someone means that you think they are reliable, you have confidence in them and you feel safe with them physically and emotionally.[4] Trust is the foundation of every good relationship. When you trust your partner, you can be open and honest in your thoughts and actions. This will form a powerful bond that helps you create a long-lasting relationship. It takes time and effort to create a trusting relationship. A relationship has trust when partners show mutual respect, avoid controlling each other’s actions, listen to each other and resolve problems in a healthy way. To be loved is to be trusted, it is an implicit faith that your partner will love and care for you no matter what.

Support

The best possible thing you can get out of a relationship is that you’re with someone who encourages you to be the best version of yourself every day. We can’t solely rely on anything or anyone to make us happy. We have to create the happiness part for ourselves. A supportive partner isn’t someone who will hang on your every word, do whatever you want, and follow you to the ends of the earth. That clinginess isn’t the “true love” that you’re searching for. Learn and grow together, so long as you continue to communicate assertively and don’t put unreasonable demands on each other. Become responsible for your own feelings and your own happiness. [5]

Be able to spend time apart

Perhaps going against conventional wisdom, spending time apart is also an important component of a happy relationship. It is healthy to have some separate interests and activities and to come back to the relationship refreshed and ready to share your experiences. Missing your partner helps remind you how important he or she is to you. [6] Being able to spend time apart helps counteract the biggest relationship mistake.

Happily Ever After doesn’t exist. Every day you wake up and decide to love your partner and your life – the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s time to say goodbye to unhealthy relationships. It’s time to stop settling for less than you deserve. It’s time for you to embrace healthy relationships.

References

[1] https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/relationships-marriage-communication-understanding-needs/

[2] https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/04/14/9-steps-to-better-communication-today/

[3] http://www.loveisrespect.org/content/respect-in-healthy-relationships/

[4] http://www.loveisrespect.org/healthy-relationships/trust/

[5] https://tinybuddha.com/blog/what-it-really-means-have-supportive-partner/

[6] https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-10-secrets-of-happy-couples/

A Simple Gesture To Building Great Relationship

Making Better Relationships

Making Better Relationships

 

When was the last time you showed a romantic gesture for your partner?

A great relationship doesn’t need expensive shows of affection all the time. What matters more are sweet romantic gestures that can make your lover go awww…Sometimes, a sweet gesture can make your partner’s day, even if it’s done in the smallest way.

Here’s a simple, yet powerful gesture that goes a long way. 

For her: Get her a bouquet of flowers when you are on your way home to her. If you are dating and would like to progress further, have the flower delivered to her by surprise. You can track your delivery via: https://www.bloomandwild.com/

Imagine the smile on her face when she gets the surprise. It’s priceless.

For him: Giving his back some TLC can speak volumes about how much you care, particularly if it comes at the end of a hard day. Give your guy an hour to 90-minute massage. He will forever associate you with utter relaxation. Every guy wishes his woman would do this.

Tag or share this with your partner to remind them.

 

New Dating Profile Review Special Offer

We’ve agreed to do a special Dating Profile Review in partnership with a new collaboration.

Whether you’re on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, The League, Ok Cupid, Match.com, eHarmony, Plenty of Fish, Elite Singles or any of the others, having a smart woman’s eye review is essential.

Having a review from the team of Making Better Relationships.. well we think it’s priceless, and today we’ve shared an incredible special offer but only for the first ten to take action.

Learn more at http://makingbetterrelationships.com/profilereview/